why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
