butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
