he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
