To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
