so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize