conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
