I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
