I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
