I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
