i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
