So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
