I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
