I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
