It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
