I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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