i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
