my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
