I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
