She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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