I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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