sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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