Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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