Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
