I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
