I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
whose parrot is this?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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