u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
