I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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