He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
