There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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