i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
