My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
