pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
