if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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