I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
