In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
