hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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