i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
