We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
