Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
