Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
