you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
