If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
your like the ambassador to my penis.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
