the new term for farting is butt boxing.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
