bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
