I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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