I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Boobs speak an international language.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
