You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize