Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
