Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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