why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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