This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
