"it" just moved
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
