my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i now understand why vodka
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