Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
