I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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