...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
His hands were made for my vagina.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
