Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My ass is underappreciated
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
