Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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