mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
