tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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