I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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